just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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