So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
