I think im going to throw up on grandma
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
