FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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