Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
