Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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