i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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