Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
