Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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