Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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