we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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