You work out of a Hotel?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
