She announced her abortion via fbk
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
