Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
