bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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