Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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