You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize