so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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