If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
