Don't you send me to vm
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
