Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
