I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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