I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
