best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
