What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We need a shit load of segways right now
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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