I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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