My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
