tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
