Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
is that a dick in a sweater?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
