I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
