wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
