This girl is more easily done than said...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
