I cockslap morals
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize