Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
