I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
