For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Green mimosas i think yes
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
