i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
