Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
The Olympian is in my bed
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
