I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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