And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
