Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
