i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i dont even know how to be here
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
