Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
