WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
