shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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