I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
