Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
