Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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