Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Small penises have feelings too.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Dick very happy bro
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
