I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
