I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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