Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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