She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
