I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
