I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
