so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
