but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
