She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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