3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
