so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
the liver wants what the liver wants
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
