She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
